Harry Potter and the Ordering of Britain

Confident in their superior knowledge systems, Bharatiya intellectuals took on the task of understanding British society on its own terms. They believed this effort to explain local customs through logic and observation would lead to fairer rule and better reporting back home.

Their search for an ancient British social revelation led them to the Adventures of Harry Potter, a text universally known across Britain and parts of Europe and India. Though its exact origins are unclear and it is believed to be corrupted, this ancient text by the great Rowling is the foundation of a shared British myth that establishes the House System. Bharatiya scholars have since dedicated centuries of effort to accessing true versions of this ancient potterverse, which has become a significant source of British cultural unity. 

The Four Houses System

The Bharatiya intellectual interpretation of potterverse posits an undeniable historical social theory based on four houses: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff.

• Upper Houses of Ideals: Gryffindor and Ravenclaw
• Middle House of Pragmatism: Slytherin
• Lowest House of Simple Desires: Hufflepuff

House assignment is hereditary but formalized through a complex ceremony where young children wear a  “Rowling hat” that “reveals” their House. A person’s life is dedicated to protecting and promoting their House identity, often through strict endogamy, as marriage outside the House often leads to societal  troubles.

Beyond the main four, there are numerous sub-houses such as Windsor, Viking, Norman, Keynesian, Wicca, Cockney, Smith, Labour, Thatcherite and more. While intellectuals know these sub-Houses originated from the four main Houses, their complex mapping back is attributed to “textual and societal corruption.” Sub-Houses delineate all forms of British social identity- whether based on location, occupation, ideology, football teams, or historical lineage and operate in daily life because every Britisher believes in the core four-House system exemplified in Harry Potter. 

The concept of the House system appears in diverse contexts across many texts. Ancient religious texts, such as the Bible, frequently reference Houses such as the House of David, House of Noah and the House of Abraham. Furthermore, descriptions of powerful economic and social structures often use “House” to denote significant families or dynasties such as the House of Rothschild and the House of Windsor.

The system also includes the Houseless, such as the people called the Gypsies, the Judiacs, the Pagans, and the Elves, who face age-old discrimination and are excluded from reputable activities and institutions, often abused even by the great characters of the potterverse even if they are muggles. 

Gryffindorian Patriarchy

Bharatiya analysis concludes that the House system is a graded hierarchy, instituted by Rowling, to ensure order through Gryffindorian patriarchy. This hierarchy dictates sub-House identities and marriage preferences. 

A bias favoring Gryffindor has been evident in great British cultural works for the past 3000 years—from Shakespeare’s House battles to the legends of King Arthur’s sword, a symbol of Gryffindorian righteous power was established, as the legend of Harry Potter suggests, by violently killing Slytherins.

Even major historical events, such as the great wars of 100 BMG (Before Mahatma Gandhi), are interpreted as House conflicts. For example, the Slytherin House of Nazis, led by Hitler, a descendant of Lord Voldemort, versus, the Gryffindor House of Windsor Allies, led by Churchill, a descendant of Harry Potter.

Native British intellectuals agree with the Bharatiya theory of living in sub-Houses. New research by indigenous highly qualified British social scholars from Bharatiya educational institutions shows that upper sub-Houses are generally more successful socio-economically, regardless of individual wealth, owing their historical dominance to core British belief in descending from the conqueror sub-Houses of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. 

Colonial Policy and Social Justice

The House system poses a challenge to the Bharatiya values of Samrashtra (harmonious state). Bharatiya rulers believe that a righteous state must treat all members of all Houses equally.

To address the historic evils of the House system and prevent Bharatiya rule from being seen as arbitrary, rulers have decided to classify all British sub-Houses into the four House classification system for the upcoming Census. This move excites some sub-Houses who hope to prove their Ravenclaw origins to qualify for colonial jobs otherwise unavailable to them as Slytherins or Hufflepuffs.

As an enlightened colonial ruler, the Bharatiya administration aims for parity through equality. To provide access to resources for lower Houses like the Smiths and Elves, they have created the legal category of Depressed or Scheduled Houses. This is somewhat arbitrary by scientific standards but it is a crucial measure for incremental social justice that has been met with gratitude by British subjects from many sub-Houses.

Post Script: This is speculative fiction—a thought experiment reversing colonial history. We do not assert that Britain has a caste or house system. We are asking: what if outsiders had “discovered” rigid hierarchies in British society, codified them through laws and census-data, and called it enlightened governance? The parallels are intentional and the resultant absurdity is the point.

Related Reading

This thought experiment reverses the colonial gaze to illuminate how external categorization can distort internal social realities. For historical context on how British colonial rule constructed the caste frameworks that persist today, see Part 1: “Caste is Not Ancient Hinduism but a Product of Colonialism.” For analysis of how these colonial frameworks continue to shape contemporary US policy debates, see Part 2: “Why Caste Legislation in the US is Not Emancipatory Reform.”